On the Fremont Parade

I was having dinner with a tabletop group one time and was recounting a story of an old D&D game. My character rode a triceratops, and we were about to enter a dungeon. The beast could not fit through the narrow passages, and I was trying to make arrangements to leave it behind, when the party mage said "Don't worry! I'll shrink your triceratops!" Jason, who was listening to this story, pointed out that it is possible that no one had ever said that sentence before. Since then, I've kept an eye out for things I say or here that might fit this description like "I believe that will have a negative impact on the stripper's self-confidence" and "Where the hell are my fluorescent orange sticky notes?"

I worked security for the Fremont Parade today. Some choice quotes:

"You're overdressed! You're overdressed!" (5-year old to me, regarding the fact that I was wearing clothing.)

"I need you to pick up your rainbow streamers and move behind the Lenin statue." (Me, and he did)

"Mobile 2, in pursuit of rogue naked cyclist." (Me, and I didn't catch him)

"I'm sorry, but that does not constitute a body paint job." (Overheard)

"Where's that unicyclist? I'm going to crack his skull with my bike pump." (Me, and no I didn't.)

"Please step back fifteen feet, or you will be run over by a yellow submarine." (Shawn and I)

"Does anyone have eyes on the tango-dancing Batman and Robin?" (Overheard)

"The penguin fell off her bike, but she appears uninjured."

Sometimes, I wonder what normal people do for fun in normal cities. It must suck.